alone all the time

we will always be lonely. emotion is fickle, and love most of all. we will always be lonely. whether at twenty or forty we find ourselves alone in a one room apartment with one fork and one spoon and one knife. One cofee mug and one champagne flute for a toast to no one on a lonely new years eve. we wander the nightspots and watch from a distance as men with bravado who lie to themselves pursue women in hot pants who have been hurt enough to want nothing more than to hurt someone else. it's a sad fucking state of affairs, this world. i loved her so much, but she couldn't allow herself to be loved. i still love her, and i cry every night.